Habit 3 is the habit of integrity and execution. In Habit 1, we realize that we choose the direction our lives will take. In Habit 2, we set that direction. In Habit 3, we make it happen. It's where we put our plans into action and follow through on them with integrity. Integrity means we do what we said we would do (in Habit 2.)
Why is it so hard to act on our priorities, to Put First Things First? Because urgent things get in the way. A quick fix now can be a lot more appealing than a result that takes a long time to achieve.
If we attend all the time to urgencies, rather than the important goals we have set, we can be in a chronic state of crisis. Reacting to emails, deadlines, pressing problems and emergencies. At the end of the day, we have been busy and stressed, but we wonder if we really got anything important done. The urgencies may not even be our own. We may be reacting to the requests or demands of others, their phone calls, their interruptions. Again, we are stressed and busy, but we find that we have not accomplished our own priorities.
To some people, focusing on our own priorities seems selfish. "Is it right to be so concerned with what I think is important?" These first three habits really aren't much about how we relate to others. They involve self-mastery and self-discipline. The idea is that before we can build highly effective relationships with others (Habits 4-6,) we must first have mastery over ourselves. The question actually is, "Can I be effective with others if I do not choose (Habit 1) what direction I want my life to take (Habit 2) and do what I need to do to get there (Habit 3.) Can I sustain valued relationships with others if I can't manage my own life effectively?"
Do you think accomplishing your own goals is "selfish?"
Sometimes, we get so burned out by all of this urgency, that we retreat to doing things that are neither urgent nor important: mindlessly surfing the internet, watching endless hours of TV, gossiping, etc. We may end up feeling guilty for having squandered time on activities which may have begun as a stress-reliever and ended up a complete waste of time.
To be effective, we want to spend our time doing things which are important, but not urgent. For example, consider working on an important report due in two weeks. It is important because it is aligned with the goals we set in Habit 2. But, it is not urgent. We don't have to work on it today; it is not due for two weeks. But, do we do better work when we can devote some uninterrupted time to a project or when we are under the gun, stressed because it has been put off until the last minute? Some of you may respond that you work best under pressure. But, the truth is that working on something over time, taking time to review it, and getting input as you go along produces a much better result than cramming it all in under pressure.
Certainly, when it comes to triathlon, this is true. Like so many important goals, there is no urgency six months before the event. I can always skip today's training because the race isn't for a long time. But, which do you think will produce a better outcome: consistent daily and weekly training, gradually building up endurance and speed over six months or preparing for an Ironman by jamming all the training into four weeks? Which approach is more likely to lead to injury? Which approach will be more stressful?
Think about some of the important goals that you have, at home and at work. Could they do with less urgency?
Which of your relationships could benefit from some attention in a relaxed, non-urgent atmosphere?
What is a situation where some planning now could prevent a crisis later?
What is a situation where your outcome will be better if you prepare ahead of time rather than wait until just before the deadline?
Are you ever deceived into acting on something because it seems important at the time, only to realize later that it was urgent, but not actually important to achievement of your goals?
What are some situations in which you may be reacting to urgency, without taking the time to determine whether they are actually important?
Why is it sometimes hard to distinguish between urgent and important?
What are some examples of you reacting to the urgencies of other people, at the expense of your own priorities?
In the next blog entry, more on Habit 3: how to act on the important, not just react to the urgent.
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