Habit 1: Be Proactive®

Habit 1: Be Proactive is the habit of choice. No matter what the circumstance, we have the power to choose what we will do about things that come at us. Ineffective people operate from the paradigm that "I am a product of my circumstances." "I don't control my life." It is a victim mentality. Effective people operate from the paradigm that "I am a product of my choices." They get to create their life by the choices they make.

Of course, it is possible not to take responsibility for making choices by citing extremes: "Well, what if someone has a gun to my head." OK, you might not have total control in all situations. But, the truth is that most of the people reading this are fortunate enough to have the freedom to choose how they will live...even if they don't always see that they have choices:  "I'll start exercising when I get motivated." "I'd lose weight, but I have no will power." "I can't change." We know they can choose even if they don't think they can. And, don't we all do this sometimes?

Why is this Habit 1? If you come from a victim mentality, where your life and choices are controlled by others, by your circumstances, by your history, none of the other six Habits make any difference. In order to be effective at anything, you must start from the mindset that you determine how you will react to what comes your way.

Proactive people differ from reactive people in the way they respond to stimuli. We are bombarded by stimuli all day long; some of it minor (a horn honking in the distance) and some of it major (someone getting right up in your face.) Proactive people insert a pause between the stimulus and their response. In that pause, they choose how they will respond, rather than react automatically, impulsively, emotionally.

For me, the stimulus might be, "My plan is to run for three hours, I have been going for two hours, I am tired and would feel so much better if I stop. I can't go another step." To be reactive is to respond automatically, impulsively...and to stop running. The proactive response is to pause, digest the stimulus and choose a considered action. "Is it really true that I can't run another step or would it just feel better to stop?" "I chose to do an Ironman, no one is making me do this, and that involves long-distance training and some of it does not feel good." Only after pausing to consider one's response does an effective person choose what they will do.

Outside of the triathlon world, it can be as simple as: A driver cuts me off on the freeway (stimulus,) my immediate emotion is anger and I can either be reactive by blowing up, honking my horn, and making an obscene gesture, or I can pause (count to ten, perhaps) and choose a more suitable response. You get the idea.

Proactive and reactive people also use language differently. I could approach my training in a reactive way. "I have to swim this afternoon" has a victim quality to it. Like someone is making me do it. The truth is that I chose to do my upcoming race and swimming is part of the training.

This may sound like nitpicking, but imagine someone who has to go to work, has to help their spouse,  has to pick up the kids. They operate from the position that they didn't choose their job, their spouse or to have kids. If they didn't choose their life, who did?

One of the common ways we often use reactive language is in relation to our own feelings. "He made me angry" is a reactive expression. A is saying B is responsible for A's feelings. The truth is that B did something (stimulus) and A responded with anger. The proactive person takes responsibility for their own feelings, rather than blame them on others. That doesn't mean that B might not have done something stupid, insensitive, etc. But, A's angry response was generated within A. B did not reach inside A and place anger there.

One of the reasons I enjoy triathlon is that, for the most part, triathletes are proactive about their involvement. They take responsibility for choosing to participate and for the results they get. No excuses.

In the next blog entry, I will talk about a third part of Habit 1, Expanding Your Circle of Influence.

What do you think about Habit 1, Be Proactive? I'm interested to know your thoughts.

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